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Category: Career

Christian single women are likely working full time to pay those bills, but a lot of us are likely looking to have a more fulfilling career. We want biblical advice on how to move up the corporate ladder, how to manage our teams, how to manage our time, and more.

10 Ways to Build Your Self Confidence

woman with self-confidence

Self-confidence is a fluid thing. We don’t always have it, and sometimes it is stronger in one area than another. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t important. The way we see ourselves has a profound impact on our relationship with God, other people, our work, and the world around us. So I’m wanting to talk a little about the ways to build your self-confidence.

As promised, here is the list of ways you can build your self confidence:

  1. Take care of your health
  2. Stop comparing yourself to others
  3. Take a review of your relationships
  4. Listen closely at how you talk to yourself
  5. Do one thing that makes you happy
  6. Face a fear
  7. Accept compliments
  8. Celebrate yourself and your accomplishments
  9. Clean
  10. Do a nice thing for someone else
woman with self-confidence

Jael: A Biblical Lesson in Getting Things Done

Jael

One of the women of the Bible we don’t talk enough about is Jael. Maybe it’s because she has a bit of a violent story. Maybe it’s because she’s a bit too strong for the narrative many churches perpetuate. Either way, she’s a lesson for many of us sassy Christian women in how to just get things done. Actually, like many women of the Bible and today, Jael is an example of how women don’t play around. They just do what needs to be done.

Who is Jael?

Who is this Jael anyhow? Jael shows up in the Old Testament book of Judges. She was married to Heber, and she was essential in to winning the war against the Canaanites. After all, she did was Deborah’s (another powerful woman of the Bible we dismiss too often!) general, Barak, couldn’t do. She killed the Canaanite general, Sisera, who had escaped Barak’s clutches.

There are a couple things to note in Jael’s story that we can all relate to, though. When Sisera fled Barak, he went to a woman’s tent seeking safety. Oh, really Sisera? Way to underestimate a woman! He felt safe there, because he didn’t really think a woman would do anything to him–or could do anything. Does that sound familiar? Men, especially those in power, tend to underestimate women all the time. Mansplaining, minimizing, talking over women, putting women in their place, taking away women’s rights…we deal with all of this today. We face many Siseras.

On top of the minimization of a woman’s God-given power, it seems shocking to most people that a woman would choose to kill Sisera in such a violent way. She pounded a stake through his head. I’m going to be a little graphic here, but I used the word “pounded” on purpose. It’s not like she poisoned him or just simply stabbed him. This was a violent and bloody way for him to die, even if she did put him to sleep first with milk. People think women all have to be one thing. That we are all dainty and fragile–like heaven forbid we break a nail. Except some of us will cut you with that broken nail if you cross us the wrong way.

Yeah, I said I was going to get graphic!

Jael Gets Things Done

We aren’t all fragile little things, and Jael shows us that women have many facets. She also shows us that women just get things done. Jael saw her opportunity in front of her and just took it. She wasn’t going to wait to check things out with her husband, and she wasn’t going to wait to run it by her pastor. This was what she knew God wanted her to do, and she did it. A woman who took control of her entire situation.

Why is that a lesson for all of us? The church has preached time and time again our husband is the head of our household throughout our lifetimes. That men are the ones to guide us and our decisions. Except, it’s really God who has to guide our decisions. We get lost in that message a lot, because young women end up thinking they can’t do anything until they get married. They feel their worth is tied up in marriage. However, we are more than a marriage.

Write Your Own Jael Story

Jael teaches us that we can do anything beyond marriage. She just completed her mission, married or not. We have God-given goals and dreams to accomplish, married or not. God doesn’t wait for us to marry. He has things to accomplish! You have things to do! There are glass ceilings to break. There are people to mentor. We have degrees to get. You have missions to go on. You have books to write. I can list the dreams and goals we have yet to achieve, because they are endless.

Jael’s story reminds us that we can accomplish anything if we have God guiding it. Just like God predicted Sisera would die at the hands of a woman, He will give you a story to write for yourself. You just have to set your mind on your God-given goals and put them down in a plan. God will pave your way, just like He did for Jael.

Jael

7 Ways Good Managers Can Lift Up Other Women for Success

Lifting Up Other Women in the Workplace

You worked hard to climb that corporate ladder, smashing a few of your own glass ceilings along the way. Congratulations! We should be proud of what we’ve become. Our foremothers fought hard for us to be able to smash those ceilings and become entrepreneurs, managers and CEOs. So how can we lift up other women for success in the workplace, like we’ve been lifted up? Jesus tells us to help our fellow brothers and sisters, and this is one of the most powerful things we can do as a manager–create other successful and good women managers.

Successful Doesn’t Equal Good Managers

Before we get into the ways we can lift other women up in the workplace, let’s make sure we clarify that success doesn’t always equal good in the world of management. Just because someone is climbing the corporate ladder doesn’t mean they make a good manager or mentor. A lot of the time they learn bad lessons in how to get to the top, and they are clawing their way up there.

Not exactly the way we think would make God really happy, right?

So don’t put too much stock in those men and women sitting in those fancy chairs with those fancy name plates outside their corner offices. It’s their actions that matter more than anything else. I’ve met some CEOs that come around on a daily basis to check in on everyone, know people’s names, and are genuinely concerned about their employees. I also know Vice-Presidents that can barely spell their job titles, that only got their because they stole every idea they had from those they worked with, and their only skill is the art of the theft. I wouldn’t turn my back on them ever, because I’d only find a knife in it later.

We all have both of these types of stories, right? And we all know we’d prefer to work for the CEO that comes around and knows everyone’s names. They make you feel better about the work you’re doing, you respond better to feedback, and they make you want to work for them and the organization. They may not even know they’re modeling Godly methods for management, but they are.

So let’s get into the ways YOU can model these methods, because not all just about knowing names and being nice to people (though that helps):

7 Ways Good Managers Lift Up Other Women for Success

  1. Be the example. The number one things you can do to lift up other women in the workplace is to be the example of a good woman manager. Eyes are on you, so make sure they are seeing a manager doing the right things, the Godly things, from that managerial desk.
  2. Look out for your employees. Looking out for your employees doesn’t mean giving into your employees every demand. It means ensuring your employees are getting what they need to do the job at hand. Have they received the best training available? Do they have the right pay at the right pay scale? Are there enough staff to do the job? Are they being treated fairly?
  3. Listen to women. Yes, I said women and not all employees for a reason. Of course you should listen to all your employees. That’s just a given. Everyone comes up with great ideas. However, women are often talked over or dismissed at rates higher than men are. Even women managers are more likely to take men’s ideas more seriously. Give women a chance to speak and not be mansplained.
  4. Be a mentor. Women need other women to show them the way. We aren’t children who need mansplaining or childlike pats on the head. We need strong women to teach us how to be strong women. My favorite books of the Bible are Ruth and Esther. Two women who just set out on their own way and defied the rules. I love Deborah who was a judge and Jael who just took matters into her own hands, because she killed the enemy when no one else could. I learned from these other strong women of the Bible. There were other strong women in my life who took me under their wings and taught me to be a strong manager and mentor so I could lift up other women for success.
  5. Give constructive criticism. You didn’t get where you are without hearing some tough feedback. In fact, some of it was probably harsher than you wanted, right? I know I’ve been there. I’ve sat in offices and held back tears (and sometime harsh words back) when I’ve been told I’d done something wrong. However, we do need to hear proper criticism, because we need to learn from our mistakes. However, give the feedback in a way women can learn from going forward. Give women a way to take steps to improve, and help them through those steps in the way you wish someone had guided you.
  6. Be honest about your mistakes. We all want people to see us as the shiny managers and CEOs. After all, we worked hard to get to the top, right? We earned that corner office and that pretty nameplate on the door, so why should anyone have to know about all the missteps we made along the way? Well, if we want to help lift up women in the workplace, they have to know they can get there, too. If they see us as too shiny, and the office too unattainable, then they give up. By being honest about the three steps forward and two steps back we took along the way, they can see that they, too, can get there.
  7. Let your women fly. Eventually the time will come when the women you mentor will outgrow you. When it happens, you will be both happy and sad about it. Some of them will even become–gasp–more successful than you. Be proud of it. It was time for them to fly on their own. You were part of that. You were part of their growth. Let them go be managers of their own and help lift up other women in the workplace. As you pay it forward, so will they. And as Beyonce says…”who run the world??” One day, ladies…it won’t just be a song, it will be us.

Are you a manager? Share your secrets to lift up other women for success in the corporate world on our Facebook page!

Lifting Up Other Women in the Workplace

When Imposter Syndrome Distracts You From God’s Design

Imposter Syndrome

We’ve worked so hard our professional lives to climb our corporate ladders, achieve our personal goals, and be everything we think we’re supposed to be…and yet too often we’re faced with this nagging thought in the back of our heads that we’re not who everyone thinks we are. We abide by the adage, “Fake it ’til you make it.” Except you know what? We’ve made it! That nagging feeling? That’s called Imposter Syndrome, and it is definitely NOT what God wants for us!

What is Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter syndrome is this terrible feeling that you don’t belong where you are and everyone is going to find out. It’s this feeling that you’re wearing a mask and someone is going to reveal the real you, the incompetent you, the ignorant you at any time–and then you’ll be humiliated and asked to leave.

Except no one ever will. You worked for this, and it’s time fo you to realize that God designed you for this. You know why you feel like this? Because you care, and you aren’t trusting in God or your own abilities. For years we’ve been told to downplay who we are and how good we are. So when it’s time to be that good or to be our true selves…we think we aren’t good enough.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. I know that full well.”  – Psalm 139:14

Yet God reminds us in Psalm 139:14 that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” We’re his design. He made us for this. That promotion you got? You worked your way up to it and earned it. That new job? You have the experienced, rocked the interview and deserved it. That role you were offered? You nailed the audition. The book offer that came in? Yeah, you wrote that awesome book and deserve that publishing contract! God gave you these skills. You used your skills. From there you kept moving up and now you reap the benefits.

How Do We Overcome Imposter Syndrome?

Imposter syndrome is like a weed that can grow and strangle all the good things we’ve worked so hard to achieve. That little nagging doubt you have in the back of your head? It gets louder. Suddenly you’re doubting if you can do anything. After all, you’re not sure you can do this one thing, or that you belong in that board room, on that stage, on that book cover–so why do you think you can do any of these other things?

It’s important that we work to squash that little monster early. Squash in like the nasty, annoying bug that it is. Do not allow it to infest your psychological or emotional house! Here are some ways you can work to overcome imposter syndrome:

  1. Go back over your qualifications. Remind yourself of how much you know and your knowledge base by going back over your degrees, experience, and all the knowledge you’ve built over the years that make you more than competent for the job.
  2. Be real about things. Sometimes we feel incompetent because we built up this weird world in our heads. Take a step back and bring yourself back into reality. Get control over your negative thoughts.
  3. Check your goals. You may have set some pretty lofty goals and then quickly regretted it. Don’t worry. God has this. After all, He created the SMART goals concept. The other thing he has is confidence in you. So go through the lofty goal, break it down into smaller goals and take it on. You’ve got this!
  4. Ask for help. Who said we can’t ask for help ever? No one. We can always ask for help. We don’t have to have every answer all the time. It’s okay to say “I don’t know,” as long as it’s followed with, “Let me find out that answer.” It is part of all of our jobs to find out the answers, not to always have all the answers.
  5. Dump perfection. Perfection is the enemy of progress. Yes, you want to have attention to detail. Of course you want to do a good job. However, getting so caught up in the details due to fear or feelings of inadequacy will just keep setting you back. Give yourself some room for “good enough to go.”
  6. Have faith. While others rely on themselves, we have a little extra boost. We know that God would not have allowed us to get this far if we could not do it. You know the saying, “God only gives you as much as you can handle.” Well, He gave you this position, so you must be able to handle it. Who are we to argue with God, right? Right?

The key here is to take your time, pray and breathe. We all go through imposter syndrome from time to time. It’s not easy to take on new things, and sometimes our lives get intimidating. Just keep moving forward and looking up. We can do this!

Imposter Syndrome
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